Dobe and Dober
by RavensandCrows
Summary: What happens when you slip and fall right on top of your rivals crotch? Not to mention kiss him? What if ever since then you cant stop thinking about it? Poor Naruto is going to find out the hard way. Smut and yaoi in the later chapters.


A/N Hello fellow yaoi lovers, this is my first fan fiction I have published. I hope you enjoy it. if you have any suggestions or advice please tell me. This will be a multi-chapter story. Please read it and tell me what you think :D

Enjoy!

...

"OW!" exclaimed a blue eyed teenager.

"Hold still Naruto-kun." said an irritated Hinata.

"I cant help it, it burns. Tch he just had to pass by."

"Mhmm" said Hinata as she rolled her pale eyes at her friends' rant.

"I mean its not my fault I tripped and fell on top of him"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Finally last period of the day" thought Naruto. "I cant wait till after school." he was excited because he and his friends were going to go to the mall.  
Naruto made his way to the pe lockers and along the way he spotted his dog loving friend.

"Hey Kiba!"

"Sup Naruto" said Kiba with a smile.

"I cant wait for after school!" Naruto excitedly exclaimed with a grin.

"Yeah me either, glad its Friday and we come out early too." The duo made their separate ways to their own lockers.

"I'm glad that's over now, now time to change and go with my friends." Naruto opened his locker and was removing his pe uniform. His locker was close to the ends of the rows, so it wasnt as crowded. Naruto removed his pe shirt and it fell to the floor. After he was done dressing he put on his orange Jansport backpack. He slammed his locker shut and was walking to the exit. He didn't notice the spill of some soapy water. Someone pushed him making him slip and fall.

"Ahhh!" Naruto yelped.

"Fuck!"

His fall wasn't as hard as he thought it would of been. That is until he felt the "ground" being soft. Not to mention the warmth he was feeling on his lips. He opened his eyes, and was surprised when he found a pair of eyes staring at him. When the light bulb clicked, he quickly removed his face. He had landed on top of someone. Someone meaning a boy. An other man. Therefore meaning he kissed a man! He slowly looked up to the face of the other man his jaw dropped when he realized who it was, no other but his rival, Sasuke Uchiha.

"AHHHHH!" Screamed Naruto and jumped off him causing a small grind between them and smacked his head right into an open locker. He felt dizzy but he got up fighting the pain a slight bleeding and ran as fast as he could out of there. Leaving Sasuke on the floor confused and stunned.

"_What the fuck just happened_?!" thought Sasuke. He looked to his right and saw a shirt on the floor. It said "Naruto Uzumaki"

Naruto ran as fast as he could in his condition. He bumped in to someone.

"Oh Kami, please dont let it be Him. Kami damn his Uchiha powers!" thought Naruto.

"Hey watch where the fuck you're go-... Naruto? What happened to your head?"

"Oh Hinata, can you please help me? I don't want my mom to question me how I got this. Please?" Plead Naruto.

"~sigh~ alright lets go to my house."

"Thank you so much!" and he hugged her.

"Yeah yeah, come on before you pass out or something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, you kissed the infamous Sasuke Uchiha." Hinata said smirking.

"It was an accident! I would never ever kiss him!" Naruto exclaimed waving both hands in the air.

"Hold still, I'm going to put more rubbing alcohol and a band aid."

"Ouch!"

"There, you don't need stitches or anything."

"Thanks"

"Yeah yeah c'mon were gonna be late, lets go meet up with the rest of the group."  
Naruto nodded and off they went to meet their friends at their usual spot.

"Hey, look everybody its Sasukes lover!" howled Kiba with laughter followed by every one else's laughter.

"Shut up bastard, I slipped and fell on top of him its not my fault!" Huffed a blushing Naruto.  
Silence.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" every one there laughed even harder even Shino cracked a laugh.  
Naruto sighed, "lets get going."

* * *

"Let me get this straight, ~giggle~ you k-kissed ~giggle~ your "rival" on the lips, and took his shirt?" said Itachi trying to contain his laughter but failing miserably.

"Gonna masturbate to that at night" Teased Zetzu.

"No, he fell on top of me and kissed me and I have his shirt so I dont forget the bastards name and fuck no!." Explained Sasuke.

Itachi and his friends blankly stared at him.

"Ahahahahahaha!" Cracked the whole room. for about six minutes.

"This was best fucking laugh I have ever had since making Hidan wear a pink dress!" Cracked Kisame.  
The group laughed even harder.

"Shut it bitch!" said Hidan still laughing.

"I cant believe you guys are my friends" sighed Sasuke.

"Come on, you have to admit that was funny, un." Said Deidara wiping off a tear.

"I don't want to go with you guys any more."

"We were just fucking around, don't be a dick." Gasped Hidan between laughs.

"You guys are such fags," Sasuke sighed and slightly turned his head and eyes to the side and when he looked back his ears were greeted by silence and his eyes were greeted by angry glares and weapons?

"What the fuck did you just say Sas_**UKE**_?" Said Itachi through clenched teeth. When the elder Uchiha was pissed his eyes seemed to glow crimson.

From the corner of his eye he was Sasori wiping off some dry blood off his brass knuckles? Deidara had some matches and firecrackers? Kisame was cracking his knuckles, Hidan was holding a rusty crowbar, Zetzu was sharpening a knife and Tobi had a…chainsaw?  
They were closing in on Sasuke cornering him to a corner.

"Ne, ne I was joking you guys you know you guys kick ass." Sasuke said with a scared smile and waving his hands in front of him fast, shaking his head fast side to side. Pein and Konan were laughing at the scene.

"Better be." Kakuzu said while putting away his chains?

"_Wow, these guys are scary when they get mad_." Thought Sasuke.

"Okay my lolli-pops lets go and buy things we desire," declared Tobi [1] " off we go to the promise land!"  
They all nodded in agreement and they latched on to their significant other.

Sasuke sweat dropped. "_On second thought_…" He shook his head side to side and went out the door with his "friends.

* * *

"Finally! We made it to the mall!" Exclaimed the blue eyed teenager.

"Where should we go first?" asked Shino.

"Lets go to the anime store. I wanna see if they have any new manga." Whined Konohamaru.

"I want to go too and then to the gym sigh up!" Shouted Lee throwing a fist in the air.

"Lee, you're probably the most fittest person I know, wouldn't you rather spend your time watching the clouds in the sky?" Stated Shikamaru.

"I like to work out and feel grate! Is that so wrong of me my friend?!" Cried Lee into Shikamarus face.

"Enough all ready," said Shikamaru while pushing Lee away from him. "You should with us Shika!" Lee dragged both of his away.

"We'll meet here at 3!" Yelled Naruto. "I think I should go with them so they dont get into any mischief." said Neji and walk after his friends.

"I think we'll go to the music store." Said Kiba as he pulled Shino away with him.

"Looks like its just you and me" Said Naruto to Hinata.

"Hey lets go to Victorias Secret, I wanna buy some new bras."

"Isnt that a girl thing, you know like a girls only kinda thing?" Said Naruto as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Please, you remind me of my father when I told him I lost my virginity, come on lets go!"

Hinata pulled a befuddled Naruto towards her female wants.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Asked Sasuke.

Uh cause this was our plan, DUH!" Konan answered sarcastically.

I thought we were going to the movies." Sasuke pointed out.

"Honestly Sasuke, you have no fun sense, un." Asked Deidara. "You're lucky the fun police hasn't found you."

Sasuke shook his head. "Crazy bitch."

"I like his kid, come on lets go look for some interesting things." Hidan wiggled his eyebrows at the words interesting things.

"I'd rather n-" Sasuke couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Kay lets go, we'll meet you guys in while. Konan, you should really go buy new bras, get some Lady GaGa shit or some thinker shit cause I can see your nipples poking out." Yelled Hidan as he grabbed Sasukes hand and ran dragging Sasuke behind him. He knew better than to face Pein.

Kakuzu shot a death glare at the hand on hand action. "Clam down, he'll get it when they come back." Reassured Pein to his friend and girlfriend.

"Were exactly are we going?" Asked Sasuke tiredly. Hidan suddenly stopped running causing Sasuke to bump into his ass.

"Watch it fucker, this ass ~gropes his ass~ is reserved. ~slaps his ass~" Hidan said in a matter-of-factly like.

"Not in a hundred years would I hit that." Sasuke said disgustedly.

"Psh, anyways I'm sure that by now your simple mind knows we're all a couple and shit, I want to get some new bed toys for fuck time with Kuzu, he keeps breaking the handcuffs."

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THINK I WOULD HELP YOU WITH THAT?!"

Some people turned to look at the duo.

Hidan pulled Sasuke by his shirt and whispered into his ear "Fuck up bitch, unless want me to make a real scene." Hidan's lips touching his earlobe as he spoke his threat.

"Whatever" Sasuke broke the unwanted touching.

"Thats more like it, come on I heard about a new sex shop."

"How does this one loo- Naruto, you cant tell me if it looks sexy with your hands covering your eyes!" Hinata said to her pink faced friend.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen a girl in a bra before? Don't you watch porn?" She ripped his hands off his face.

"Hey! Shut up! I have, but not my best friend!" Shouted Naruto with his eyes shut tight.

"Dont be a pussy, come on. look and tell me! Or else I'll take it off and scream rape." Hinata smirked.

Naruto shot his eyes open. "Uhh it looks nice," Hinata shot a glare. "I-I mean sexy as fuck, damn I swear I better hide my boner." Naruto put his hands on his crotch. "That's more like it. Come lets go pay."

"Glad that's over with." Naruto happily sighed as they walked out of the horrifying store.

"Oh hey, LOOK!" Hinata extended her arm smacking her bag at her friend and pointed at a store.

"Ow, what?" He looked over to where she pointed.

"_Ecstasy_ "

The stores windows were tinted black. It only had a small sign that said "Open".

"Lets go!" Hinata grabbed Naruto by the hand and dragged him to the store.

When Hinata opened the door her eyes where widen and she squealed.

"Its a sex toy heaven in there!" She went inside with Naruto behind her.

Naruto blushed as he saw the wide selection of vibrators, every single color of dildos, he pretty much every sex toy imaginable.

"Naruto I need your help to get a new bottle of lube and vibrator."

"What?! You can do that on your own! I already had to help you pick bras!"

"Dont be shy, I helped you when you had questions on sex and masturbation plus today's events!" Pleaded Hinata and tugged at his shirt.

"Okay, okay fine!"

"Here it is, Ecstasy." Hidan informed.

"I cant believe I'm doing this." Sasuke shook his head.

"Get over it baby dick, come on lets go."

"Fuck you loose hole."

They stepped inside and Hidan almost squealed.

"HOLY FUCKING JASHIN BITCH!" Hidan screamed, " I'M FINALLY AT THE PLACE PEOPLE CALL HEAVEN!"

"Hurry before someone thinks we're here as a couple." Sasuke said a bit uncomfortable.

A male employer came up to them and asked:" Hello gentlemen, did you find everything okay?" He was taller than Hidan by 3 inches, not to mention attractive. he had black jeans and a navy blue shirt on, and his hair was up to one side and was silver.

"Umm," Hidan looked at his name tag. "Well, Kakashi, were are your kinkier toys at?"

"In the back, on the right side. Are you here with your partner?"

"NO!" Screamed Sasuke.

Getting some stares from people.

"Please excuse this child, you see he's homophobic." Hidan lied.

Kakashi glared at Sasuke. "No, I just don't role that way." Blushed Sasuke.

"I see," That was all Kakashi said as he took the duo to the back. Kakashi turned to them and said: "Here are the selections, thin and small, medium and big and thick, and a plus for," he glaced at Sasuke and said: the rough kind."

"Thanks." Hidan said. "No, problem." Before the silver haired man left he shot a glare at Sasuke.

"Damn it, asshole!" Sasuke cursed.

"Get over it, I think I'll get the plus one."

Sasuke was stunned. "Really?"

"What can I say, I like it rough plus he's a complete insane monster in bed." Hidan smirked along with a wink. "I need a new lube too. I think I'll get Cool Blue this time. The big bottle."

"Fuck Hinata, we've been here for 10 minutes! Just choose!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Chill bitch, I cant decide between Strawberry or Blueberry." Hinata answered half assed.

"Dont you need condoms too?" "No, I make them cum up my ass." "..." Naruto was lost for words.

"Check it out douche, they have the bottle I was looking for!"

Naruto and Hinata turned and looked at the source of the voice.

"Look fuck face, its a discount buy one and get the other for 50 percent off." Hidan exclaimed.

"Calm your ass down, saggy two inch dick." Sasuke replied.

"I'll show you two inches fuck turd!" Hidan was made his hands to his grey jeans zipper.

Naruto and Hinata were watching the whole thing.

Sasuke reacted out to Hidans hands and said in a hushed tone:" Calm your dick down, people are starting to look." Hidan looked back and noticed the two staring.

"This aint a free show, cough some cash up or mind your own business!" Hidan simply said.

"Hey we don't want any trouble, we were just minding own our business and you just start yelling like some psychopath!" Defended Naruto.

"I've that voice some were, but where?" Thought Sasuke.

Sasuke spoke up "We don't want any trouble either."

Naruto looked passed the crazy man and saw him. The man he kissed by accident. His rival since first grade.

"YOU!" They both said in unison. The other two were confused on what just happened.

* * *

A/N I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Yes I know it's a short chapter, but please review and I promise I'll update atleast 5. Tobi [1] if you read the manga then you know his true identity, but I want to keep him as Tobi.


End file.
